Time flies…

…when you just want it to stop.

So he leaves in the morning and I’m not prepared at all. I keep telling myself it’ll be okay, and I guess I’ve been in a state of denial up till now. But it’s really going to happen, and I’m not sure if I would have it any other way. Going away to fight for his country, and experiencing new things… I’m so proud of him.

But I’m going to miss him so much…

And I’m trying so hard not to just sporadically start crying. I don’t want him to feel bad. And seeing that “such and such numbers of soldiers have died in Afghanistan today” articles and headlines just makes me feel like shit. I try to ignore it. Now I don’t want cable because I know if I had it, my face would be glued to the damn news all the time.

I’m thinking I’m going to be taking an emergency trip to my parents’ house after he leaves. I feel like I could really use the moral support… But I have to wonder if they think I’m being a pussy or if they’ll be supportive. Or if someone’s going be like “you should be saving your money, not spending it by coming here”, or “you need to be holding down the fort/keeping watch on the home-front”. That’s seriously not what I need to hear right now.

Add a comment April 3, 2010

Almost time…

So it’s almost time for him to leave.

He got a three day weekend and only had to work half of the day today… and what do we do with it? We spend it fighting about me getting a job. Really? Seriously?

He’s so stubborn that he gets an idea or scenario stuck in his head and can’t seem to think about anything but that. Even if you prove him wrong he still keeps thinking that way until we argue about it I-don’t-know-how-many times. This time it was about me “spending all of his money while he’s gone”. Excuse me? If I’m not mistaken, I do stuff around the house that deserves a little something now and then. I’m going to be stuck here holding down the home-front – keeping things clean and tidy and making sure things run smoothly stateside. So can you blame me for wanting to go home once in a while? (I know only two people here, and I don’t particularly care to know anyone else. What’s the point? We’ll move and then I’ll never see these people again. So the answer? No point.) Not to mention the fact that I’m a girl and I like nice things every once in a while…

Oh, and by the way. Some of his money that he was talking about me spending? It’s going to our pets’ shots/vaccinations. So unless he wants someone to get bitten and then see the ferrets’ heads cut off for examination, he’d better thing his argument through a little more.

I can understand me getting a job to help pay for my college courses, but seriously? Why should I have to use all of my money for college, two trips home, shots for the animals, and the nice things I’d like to have? There’s no way I could make enough money for those first two things, let alone all of them. :/ I guess I need to get my ass in gear and start mass producing jewelry, huh?

Things like this make me want him to leave. But it breaks my heart that even though we’ve only got a few days left together he wants to fight with me. Why couldn’t he just make his point? He could be like “I need you to help me with your college because we’re not going to have enough for that, the things you want, and the things we need to pay for”. I would have been able to understand that better and my eyes wouldn’t be as puffy as they are now…

(And seriously? He didn’t have to storm out of the house. Just because I’m sniffling, it doesn’t mean I’m still crying.)

But whatever. We’ve reached the agreement that I’ll be finding a job soon, though there was no shortage of tears and raised voices. I hope tomorrow turns out to be a better day.

Add a comment March 27, 2010

Hello world!

My first post! Not much to say right now, so maybe I’ll say a few things about myself later on…

Add a comment February 24, 2010